August 4th would have been my Granny's 83rd birthday. I still haven't talked to my aunt. She's called a few times, but I just can't talk to her. I can't understand her incoherent alcohol infused words. I'm so angry with her I just can't deal with her still. I suppose in reality I have all that I need from my grandma's house. I have a few pictures and the doll Papoo and I got her for christmas the last year he was alive. I wish they were still here. I know that sounds repetitive, but it's not any less true than it was a year ago. I close my eyes sometimes and I can hear her voice. "I love you honey, my baby Jessie".I want to go to Trinidad to see their old house and to check on the graves of her relatives.  Perhaps I will make the trip in the fall. Happy Birthday Granny, I hope you know I miss you so much.