Friday, July 13, 2012

Things of Summer

Oh hey what's up blog? I haven't been up in here since like April or something. However I did update my juicing recipe, so if you're trying to mess with juicing you can see that here.

So it's summer. It's stupid hot (we all forget  how hot it gets when we're bitching about how cold it is in the winter. I do it, you do it, we do it). For the first time since I was like 14, I have a swimming pool in my very own backyard son! One Saturday my husband and I were riding around together and he turned to me and said lovingly "Fuck this shit, it's hot. Let's go get a pool." No argument from me, let's do the damn thang. So we hot footed it over to that evil conglomerate Wal-Mart, because while they may be evil, shit is cheap in there guys, give me a break. On the way home I began to wonder how much actual work I'd have to do to put this thing together and I started to frown. As I mentioned before, it's hot man, and I don't really like, do physical labor. I mean would you rather dig ditches in 100+ degree weather or lay on your couch in the AC drinking beer? Ok so there, shut up and stop judging me. However, I am a good damn wife so I figured if I was going to reap the benefits of the pool, I'd shut the hell up and help. So I started helping Matt clear a spot and level the ground. UGH. That lasted for about 15 minutes before I damn near pulled my shoulder out of the socket (drama queen). Here's the process documented after I almost lost my arm. I really did try to help though.

See the look of pity, sadness general unattractiveness, also redness and sweatyness.

My man doing all of the real work, Lindsey posing like the diva she always is. (She get it from her mama)

Also I don't know why my dog is named Lindsey. My parents had her first and my little brother thought it was a great name, it's a terrible name for a dog.

I'll save you all the other details but here is the finished product, it's small but big enough for me to float around on one of those loungey floaty things. 

I was delighted to learn that I was able to fit into the swimsuit I bought for my honeymoon 2 years ago. I'd actually grown out of it considerably and had to buy a new swimsuit last year, pretty devastating no matter what size you are. So here is a picture of me happy as a clam to be in my old swimsuit, it's a size 22. 
I was busy screaming at the neighborhood that I was a mermaid at one point, then I ran in the house to make mermaid hair. Thanks pinterest and damn you wonky eye! I see you. 

Also I thought my husband and I should have a picture together since we never take any. So here's one of us, I look strangely a lot like my mom in this picture. That's what happens when he takes it when I'm still talking. 

Pool time for me means having awesome dranks and snacks too. Being out in the hotness makes me hungry (so does just breathing apparently) so allow me to share with you my treats for this summer. 

First off, homemade popsicles. I got 2 molds from Target for like $2. I love Target.  

There is no recipe for these, I just winged it. I used pineapple juice and marachino cherry juice and I put one cherry at the top, you can kind of see it in this picture. Let me tell you man, this was a tasty treat. I don't understand those of you who don't like pineapple. I still love you but I don't understand you or your life. 

Next, my favorite thing of all time thanks to my wonderful mother in law, Amanda who first made these, blueberry picnic bars. LORD. These are so buttery and just wonderful, I can't even tell you. Here's the recipe, just go make them and report back to me. I actually make extra topping because I find that I really need it. I like the extra crumbly buttery deliciousness.

Sometimes I buy blueberries for oatmeal, or for a blueberry pie, or to make these bars and I never get to it because blueberries are also a delightful treat all on their own. Oh, if you're feeling extra fancy, heat these up a little and top them with vanilla ice cream, you'll thank me. I accept cash and Sephora gift cards, you're welcome.

Summer isn't summer without a delightful drink. Last year it was Watermelon Mimosas and this year is my own little concoction of pineapple juice, coconut rum and marachino cherries. (see a pattern here?) 

We got these cups at Target, they come in really handy because I tend to spill a lot. I'm a toddler and I require a sippy cup. 

One last treat, faux ice cream. Well that's what I call it. Frozen bananas food processed with just about anything you like is a dream, if you like bananas. I happen to love me a banana or two, or three. 

I made this with 2 frozen bananas and a handful of strawberries. It didn't need any sugar or anything. It's a cool treat that satisfies my ever nagging sugar cravings without having to make late night runs to Dairy Queen. 

So try and stay cool (not in a high school yearbook way) this summer and have some fun. Swim if you want to swim, lay on your couch in the AC and take naps, it's all ok.


  1. Cute suit Jess! I love it! -Angela

  2. Great post. You had me laughing out loud a few times. Also, you may look like your mama in that pic with your husband, but actually you look like a gangsta. Congrats on the pool and your wonderful taste in summer snacks. You're a genius.

  3. What a fantastic story! It was like reliving summer again all in 10 minutes while sipping my coffee.

  4. I love this. Please blog more. Entertain me damn it! ;)