Saturday, July 14, 2012

Hard Strawberry Lemonade

I have been meaning to write about this delicious treat for quite a while. I make this lemonade when I have a crowd to please, it's so easy.


1 can frozen lemonade
1 can frozen pink lemonade
1 pint of strawberries pureed or sliced
24 ounces (approximately) citrus vodka

In a large punch bowl, make the lemonade according to the directions on the cans but substitute one part vodka. I believe the directions on the cans calls for 3 cans of water, so I use 2 cans of water and one can of vodka.

Stir in your strawberries however you have prepared them. If I'm making a small batch just for me, I'l use one can of lemonade and just a few strawberries and blend the mixture with an immersion blender. Play around with this recipe and make it your own! This is especially good over ice from Sonic. :)

This comes out VERY strong, just FYI. Taste as you go and add the vodka slowly. People get so hammered.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Things of Summer

Oh hey what's up blog? I haven't been up in here since like April or something. However I did update my juicing recipe, so if you're trying to mess with juicing you can see that here.

So it's summer. It's stupid hot (we all forget  how hot it gets when we're bitching about how cold it is in the winter. I do it, you do it, we do it). For the first time since I was like 14, I have a swimming pool in my very own backyard son! One Saturday my husband and I were riding around together and he turned to me and said lovingly "Fuck this shit, it's hot. Let's go get a pool." No argument from me, let's do the damn thang. So we hot footed it over to that evil conglomerate Wal-Mart, because while they may be evil, shit is cheap in there guys, give me a break. On the way home I began to wonder how much actual work I'd have to do to put this thing together and I started to frown. As I mentioned before, it's hot man, and I don't really like, do physical labor. I mean would you rather dig ditches in 100+ degree weather or lay on your couch in the AC drinking beer? Ok so there, shut up and stop judging me. However, I am a good damn wife so I figured if I was going to reap the benefits of the pool, I'd shut the hell up and help. So I started helping Matt clear a spot and level the ground. UGH. That lasted for about 15 minutes before I damn near pulled my shoulder out of the socket (drama queen). Here's the process documented after I almost lost my arm. I really did try to help though.

See the look of pity, sadness general unattractiveness, also redness and sweatyness.

My man doing all of the real work, Lindsey posing like the diva she always is. (She get it from her mama)

Also I don't know why my dog is named Lindsey. My parents had her first and my little brother thought it was a great name, it's a terrible name for a dog.

I'll save you all the other details but here is the finished product, it's small but big enough for me to float around on one of those loungey floaty things. 

I was delighted to learn that I was able to fit into the swimsuit I bought for my honeymoon 2 years ago. I'd actually grown out of it considerably and had to buy a new swimsuit last year, pretty devastating no matter what size you are. So here is a picture of me happy as a clam to be in my old swimsuit, it's a size 22. 
I was busy screaming at the neighborhood that I was a mermaid at one point, then I ran in the house to make mermaid hair. Thanks pinterest and damn you wonky eye! I see you. 

Also I thought my husband and I should have a picture together since we never take any. So here's one of us, I look strangely a lot like my mom in this picture. That's what happens when he takes it when I'm still talking. 

Pool time for me means having awesome dranks and snacks too. Being out in the hotness makes me hungry (so does just breathing apparently) so allow me to share with you my treats for this summer. 

First off, homemade popsicles. I got 2 molds from Target for like $2. I love Target.  

There is no recipe for these, I just winged it. I used pineapple juice and marachino cherry juice and I put one cherry at the top, you can kind of see it in this picture. Let me tell you man, this was a tasty treat. I don't understand those of you who don't like pineapple. I still love you but I don't understand you or your life. 

Next, my favorite thing of all time thanks to my wonderful mother in law, Amanda who first made these, blueberry picnic bars. LORD. These are so buttery and just wonderful, I can't even tell you. Here's the recipe, just go make them and report back to me. I actually make extra topping because I find that I really need it. I like the extra crumbly buttery deliciousness.

Sometimes I buy blueberries for oatmeal, or for a blueberry pie, or to make these bars and I never get to it because blueberries are also a delightful treat all on their own. Oh, if you're feeling extra fancy, heat these up a little and top them with vanilla ice cream, you'll thank me. I accept cash and Sephora gift cards, you're welcome.

Summer isn't summer without a delightful drink. Last year it was Watermelon Mimosas and this year is my own little concoction of pineapple juice, coconut rum and marachino cherries. (see a pattern here?) 

We got these cups at Target, they come in really handy because I tend to spill a lot. I'm a toddler and I require a sippy cup. 

One last treat, faux ice cream. Well that's what I call it. Frozen bananas food processed with just about anything you like is a dream, if you like bananas. I happen to love me a banana or two, or three. 

I made this with 2 frozen bananas and a handful of strawberries. It didn't need any sugar or anything. It's a cool treat that satisfies my ever nagging sugar cravings without having to make late night runs to Dairy Queen. 

So try and stay cool (not in a high school yearbook way) this summer and have some fun. Swim if you want to swim, lay on your couch in the AC and take naps, it's all ok.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Strawberry Banana Smoothie

Taking inspiration from the glorious Joy the Baker, I have taken to making smoothies. I love a good smoothie as a meal replacement. I'm still juicing, but for breakfast I find smoothies are the best way to make it through the morning. I have been making Joy's peanut butter, banana and oat milkshake as well as her toasted oat blueberry smoothie that can be found in her cookbook. So last night, I decided to try my hand at a Strawberry Banana Smoothie, I have to say it was DELICIOUS and incredibly filling.

Keep in mind that this recipe makes a lot, (4 mason jars) I stored my smoothies in the mason jars in my fridge and Matt and I each had one for breakfast. :)

5 cups unsweetened almond milk (or any other milk you like)
4 frozen bananas
1 lb cut strawberries, they can be frozen or fresh
1/2 cup of almond butter
2 tablespoons ground flax seed (ground into meal)
2 tablespoons old fashioned oats (ground fine)
2 tablespoons honey

I used fresh strawberries for this recipe, you may want to let the frozen ones thaw a bit so the smoothie isn't super thick, and it will be easier to blend.

I never really eat bananas, but I find this is a good way to incorporate them into my diet. Now anytime I buy them I know they're for smoothies, I peel them, cut them up into large pieces and freeze them.

I use my husbands coffee grinder thingy to grind the oats and flax seed. If you don't have a coffee grinder, then a food processor may work. I honestly have no idea, just get those things ground up!

Play around with this recipe and adjust to your liking, less banana more strawberry? sure, go ahead. One day I will buy a blender but for now I make smoothies in my HUGE measuring cup with an immersion blender. Try it out and enjoy!



Sunday, March 18, 2012

Juicin'. *UPDATED*

As some of you may know, I won a juicer a few weeks ago! Wake Up with Taylor was giving away a juicer to the first caller who could sing the outro to Kenny's Fat Kid Friday song, and YOUR GIRL aka me, won it! Matt and I juiced for the first time this morning and it was really great! We basically followed Dr. Oz's Green Juice recipe with just a few changes:

1 large cucumber
4 granny smith apples
1 lemons
4 carrots
1 large naval orange
4 handfuls of spinach
2 stalks of celery
1 large bunch of parsley

We ran the pulp through the machine just to be sure we got the most out of it.

I did a taste test after each ingredient was added just so I know what to add or take away. I was really intrigued by the apple, citrus, cucumber combo that tasted like concentrated spa water. I think this would be great juice to freeze in ice trays and add to water. instant spa water! Super tasty.

I have to admit I was really nervous during this process! Thankfully my husband was just as nervous and excited. The juice actually turned out really great. The main thing I could taste was the lemon and  parsley, and I didn't really mind that at all.  It tasted kind of the way a fresh mowed lawn smells.  We made the juice in batches, it was enough for us each to have one 8 ounce glass and I stored the rest in mason jars. My juice should be good for 72 hours, so come Tuesday evening I will make another batch. A few hours after my first juice I actually feel different. Maybe it's just a placebo effect but I feel like I've had coffee today, I'm really energized.

Matt and I are in the middle of watching "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" and are thinking about doing a juice fast! I think it will be a great jumping off point to a better lifestyle.

**I've modified my recipe for this a tad. I use 2 cucumbers instead of 1, I've nixed the carrots and added swiss chard, I've also added pineapple! Changes made per Mr. Kenny Bobby Zimlinghausy. If I had to measure it I'd say I use about half a pineapple per batch. Ya Welcome**

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Burning Bridges

I don’t care what you have to say
I don’t know you anyway
This is not a game I play
I’m just burning bridges

Move ahead and don’t look back
How many now? I’ve lost track
The fire so hot, the smoke so black
I’m just burning bridges

It’s too easy to walk on by
I’m too cold to see you cry
I’m too careless to care just why
I continue burning bridges

One more time, let’s go around
Building you up then tearing you down
I hear the cracking no other sound
Of me burning bridges

Let the fire touch me please
Leave me here on my knees
Abandon me with such ease
As I have burned these bridges