Friday, April 29, 2011

Adventures in Fashion or I hate my tailor lady.

Yesterday the dress I ordered from Asos.Com finally arrived! I have been dying to try the clothes from them and I was not disappointed. The dress I ordered is true to size and seems to be really well made. It's no secret that I'm pretty frugal when it comes to buying things for myself, and this was no exception. I got this dress on sale for $35.86, pretty good no?

The only pain in the ass about this dress was that the top was way too big for me. Even though I am a Chunky Monkey, I have the chest of a skinny gal. So I made the trek to my tailor to have the dress fixed. Now pay attention, this story is good.

Before I left the house, I made sure to wear the bra and undergarments (fat sucker inner, spanx) that I plan to wear with this dress to be sure that it would be altered correctly. I threw on a Tshirt and my usual yoga pants and sneakers and ran out of the house with my hair in a bun. My tailor closes at 6:00 and is only open on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and yesterday was Thursday so I wanted to get it to her before she closed. I walked in the door at 5:37. There were 3 high school aged girls in there and she was fitting the dress of a beautiful blonde with a gorgeous purple satin gown. My tailor, Suzie, is an older Asian woman with huge glasses (just to give you a visual.)

"Oh! Miss Clock, what you have for me today?"
"Just a dress that needs to be taken in at the top, I can wait until you're done with these ladies."

She nodded and went back to work on the hem of the purple gown and I stood near her desk as the other girls occupied the chairs.

"Miss Clock, deeze gulls so gorgeous, aren't they?" 
I had pulled out my phone to check my Twitter and wasn't actually paying attention but I did look up and say, "Oh yes! Gorgeous."'
"Miss Clock, these gulls so gorgeous, no belly, not fat".
 "................................... um yeah. Not fat at all."
One of the girls in her prom dress said, "Oh my God! If I was fat. I. Would. Die!!"
Que stink eye from me.

She finished up with the girls and it was my turn to go into the changing room to put my dress on so she could see where it needed to be taken in. I stepped out and stood in front of the mirror where she was waiting.

"Miss Clock so unfortunate".
I said, "Excuse me ma'am?"
"This dress pretty but unfortunate. I have to take out so much fabric at the top. You small here but big on bottom".
"Yep, I sure am."

I took what she said in stride. I know she probably wasn't intending to be rude or inappropriate or whatever so I brushed it off. If this had happened 5 or 6 years ago, I would have had another reaction completely. This is just another example of shit us fatties have to endure. I have a belly, I have huge hips and a great big fat ass, and guess what? I still have to clothe myself. I refuse to go to my brother's graduation in jeans or khakis with a button down shirt or some other boring thing that I'm expected to wear because I'm massive. It's just not going to happen. If anyone in this world has a problem with they way I look, that's their problem. Not mine. I'm not in love with the way I look and of course I'm trying to lose weight but I refuse to hide away just because I'm not thin. Before I might have told her to forget it and returned the dress, I probably would have gone home and cried.

Last night I did not shed a tear. I can't wait to find some fierce fucking shoes to go with my fabulous dress.


  1. Okay, first, You got that dress for WHAT?!?! OMG! That's ridiculous! LOVE it! Second, I hope you gave that girl a look that could have killed her! Three, you're a stronger woman than I, because I think I would have cried. I love your attitude. I can't wait to see what shoes you find!

  2. Jess, you look B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L in that dress! Rock it with some fucking fabulous shoes and you will be the envy of every bitch there!

  3. That dress is sooo chic, and you are NOT a chunky monkey! Lol. Even YB would agree. I haven't ordered anything from ASOS yet, but always drool over their online selection. You ever check out Topshop? It's awesome. Very trendy, decent prices, great selection.