Friday, April 29, 2011

Adventures in Fashion or I hate my tailor lady.

Yesterday the dress I ordered from Asos.Com finally arrived! I have been dying to try the clothes from them and I was not disappointed. The dress I ordered is true to size and seems to be really well made. It's no secret that I'm pretty frugal when it comes to buying things for myself, and this was no exception. I got this dress on sale for $35.86, pretty good no?

The only pain in the ass about this dress was that the top was way too big for me. Even though I am a Chunky Monkey, I have the chest of a skinny gal. So I made the trek to my tailor to have the dress fixed. Now pay attention, this story is good.

Before I left the house, I made sure to wear the bra and undergarments (fat sucker inner, spanx) that I plan to wear with this dress to be sure that it would be altered correctly. I threw on a Tshirt and my usual yoga pants and sneakers and ran out of the house with my hair in a bun. My tailor closes at 6:00 and is only open on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and yesterday was Thursday so I wanted to get it to her before she closed. I walked in the door at 5:37. There were 3 high school aged girls in there and she was fitting the dress of a beautiful blonde with a gorgeous purple satin gown. My tailor, Suzie, is an older Asian woman with huge glasses (just to give you a visual.)

"Oh! Miss Clock, what you have for me today?"
"Just a dress that needs to be taken in at the top, I can wait until you're done with these ladies."

She nodded and went back to work on the hem of the purple gown and I stood near her desk as the other girls occupied the chairs.

"Miss Clock, deeze gulls so gorgeous, aren't they?" 
I had pulled out my phone to check my Twitter and wasn't actually paying attention but I did look up and say, "Oh yes! Gorgeous."'
"Miss Clock, these gulls so gorgeous, no belly, not fat".
 "................................... um yeah. Not fat at all."
One of the girls in her prom dress said, "Oh my God! If I was fat. I. Would. Die!!"
Que stink eye from me.

She finished up with the girls and it was my turn to go into the changing room to put my dress on so she could see where it needed to be taken in. I stepped out and stood in front of the mirror where she was waiting.

"Miss Clock so unfortunate".
I said, "Excuse me ma'am?"
"This dress pretty but unfortunate. I have to take out so much fabric at the top. You small here but big on bottom".
"Yep, I sure am."

I took what she said in stride. I know she probably wasn't intending to be rude or inappropriate or whatever so I brushed it off. If this had happened 5 or 6 years ago, I would have had another reaction completely. This is just another example of shit us fatties have to endure. I have a belly, I have huge hips and a great big fat ass, and guess what? I still have to clothe myself. I refuse to go to my brother's graduation in jeans or khakis with a button down shirt or some other boring thing that I'm expected to wear because I'm massive. It's just not going to happen. If anyone in this world has a problem with they way I look, that's their problem. Not mine. I'm not in love with the way I look and of course I'm trying to lose weight but I refuse to hide away just because I'm not thin. Before I might have told her to forget it and returned the dress, I probably would have gone home and cried.

Last night I did not shed a tear. I can't wait to find some fierce fucking shoes to go with my fabulous dress.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Texas is Burning

I used to write quite frequently but I stopped many years ago. This morning I had brief inspiration, good thing I had my phone with me so I could jot this down.

Texas is Burning

The sky is red and the wind is high
And Texas is burning
The unchanging waters are churning this time
And Texas is burning
The fish are sparse and the lakes are dry
And Texas is burning
The bluebonnets are gone and the earth is scorched
Texas is burning
My eyes are unfocused, my lungs ache for air
My Texas is burning
Oh please Mama take me home
Where Texas is burning
The flames in my heart the warmth of soul
Know that Texas is burning
Save our memories, forsake our homes
Our Texas is burning

Friday, April 15, 2011

Betty's Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas

This recipe comes from my mama! Shout out Betty!

1/4 cup vegetable oil (approx)
1 lb uncooked chicken breast (cut into strips)
1 package 8oz cream cheese (cubed)
1 can 4.5 oz chopped green chiles
1 package 10.5 oz.  of corn tortillas (taco size)
2 cans 10 oz. Green chile enchilada sauce (we use Old El Paso brand)
Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Heat oven to 400 degrees.

In a small skillet, on medium high heat one at a time soften corn tortillas in vegetable oil,  about 1 minute, remove from skillet onto a plate lined with paper towels to remove excess oil. Set aside.*

In a non stick skillet cook chicken until no longer pink. Remove from pan and shred chicken with a fork. Place chicken back in the skillet with cream cheese and chiles, add salt and pepper to taste. Stir until well blended and cheese is melted.

Add chicken filling to tortillas, roll and place seam down in a 13 x 9 baking dish. Pour enchilada sauce over the top and add cheese. Bake 20-25 minutes.

*To make it easier and skip a step you can use flour tortillas instead of corn for New Mexico style enchiladas. :) Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Real Life, Fake Life

I gotta step my blog game all the way up.

So the last week or so has been, interesting to say the least. As most of you know, I am an avid listener of Cosmo Radio on Sirius 111 XM 162. To make a long story short, I have been dubbed President of the Cocktails with Patrick clique. Cocktails with Patrick gets me through the afternoons at work, and keeps me laughing all day. I work on spreadsheets and shuffle papers, and this show makes the time go by so fast, before I know it the show is over and it's time to go home. You can follow Cocktails with Patrick on Twitter @CockswithP. The Vice President of our clique is my good friend Tara, @TaraTheFoodie on Twitter. She has an amazing blog here: Tara's Bloggity Blog. She has been an amazing Vice President, I bother her all day with all sorts of inane questions.

I've been tasked with picking members for this clique which is a difficult task because I never want to cut anyone. ha ha. Oh well, with great power comes great responsibility right?

For those of you who do not listen to Cosmo Radio or do not have Sirius/XM, sign up for a free trial and just give it a shot for a week. The personalities on these shows are amazing and you will not be disappointed.

Now, with all that aside, a few other things have been going on. I finally pulled out last years summer clothes and found a few pieces that I'm going to rock (again) this summer. My first piece, white effing jeans. I know what you're thinking, "Girl you know your ass is too big to be wearin' white jeans". To which I say, "Kill yourself". - In the words of my beloved TyTy. You can find TyTy's blog here: TyTy's blog. You can also follow Tyler on Twitter @FlashMagoo. He is a supreme follow.

Please see my baller white jeans below followed by my Snooki inspired hair do. Pardon the look of narf on this first picture.

I am still on the lookout for something baller to wear to my little brothers graduation. I have discovered Asos , who has some beautiful clothes for gals of all shapes and sizes. 

And I know this is a shocker as I've been talking about it for weeks now but, MAXI DRESSES! lol. Old Navy is really after my heart with the recent selection. I will own these:

Tonight I made some EXCELLENT Meatloaf Muffins. I was surprised how many people haven't really heard of them. The ones I make are pretty simple, the recipe is as follows:

1 lb meat (I use 90/10)
1/2 onion diced
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup bbq 
2 -3 cups regular oats (if you want to stretch your meat out to make more muffins, use more)  :)
1 egg
salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste

Spray a regular muffin tin with PAM or with any other non stick spray. mix all ingredients together and mold into muffin pans.  Bake at 425 for 20 -25 minutes. 

Optional: I top my meatloaf with bbq sauce or ketchup, whichever you like best! Also, I buy the snack size cheeses that come in tiny cubes and stick them in the middle. I didn't have any this week so we went without cheese. 

I usually serve this with Mac and Cheese and Cornbread :) I didn't have either of these things this week so I made fried potatoes. I have been slacking at the grocery store lately. Here's the finished product!