Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Leftover Turkey Pot Pie

My mom made us take home so many left overs for Thanksgiving. I was trying to think of something comforting to make with them. I love Thanksgiving food afterall, but I've had my fill. I thought about making a pot pie because I had frozen veggies, left over turkey and a can of cream of chicken at home. The only thing I needed from the grocery store yesterday was a pie crust and an onion. I don't know about you but I love potatoes, the more potatoes the better.

2 pie crusts ( I used a regular 9 inch from Pillsbury, next time I may get a deep dish)
1 1/2 cups (approximately) of left over turkey or chicken
1 can cream of chicken
1 medium onion diced
1/2 cup diced potato
1 1/2 cups frozen veggies ( I used lima beans, green beans, corn, carrots, and peas)
1 tablespoon of butter
1 teaspoon of rosemary
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 cup of milk
1 egg
chicken broth
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Lightly poke holes with a fork in the bottom and sides of one pie crust and bake for about 9 minutes or until lightly golden. set aside.

Saute onions in butter and rosemary until just translucent, add diced potatoes and cover with chicken broth. This was probably about 2/3 of a cup for me. Use enough just to cover the potatoes. Once potatoes are fork tender add frozen vegetables and cover with chicken broth. Once veggies are heated, add chicken or turkey and cream of chicken soup. Add 1/4 of milk to the empty can of soup and whisk with a fork and add to the pot. At this point if you may need to add a little more chicken broth to even out the mixture but you don't want it to be too runny. Season with salt and pepper to taste and fill the pie crust.

Top with the second pie crust cutting off any excess. Whisk the egg in a separate bowl and brush on to the crust. Bake at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes or until golden brown. Voila! Easy left over chicken or turkey pot pie.

Melba's Chicken and Dressin'

'Round here we don't call it "stuffing" we call it "dressin". Always have and probably always will. My fondest memories of my grandma are of us in the kitchen on Thanksgiving Day making her famous Chicken and Dressin'. I helped her with it one last time in 2007. I've been wanting to try to recreate this dish for a few years, but was always afraid that I wouldn't remember how and that I would somehow be disappointing her if it wasn't correct. This year I threw caution to the wind, and once I got started everything started coming back to me. It's actually a really simple recipe.

2 pans cornbread crumbled
6 slices day old bread cubed
1 white onion diced
3 stalks celery diced
3-4 hard boiled eggs diced (optional)
6 cups of chicken broth
1 tablespoon sage (approximate)
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning (approximate)
1/4 cup of butter
1 tablespoon of butter
1 pound of shredded chicken, white and dark meat
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 425.

Saute celery and onion in one tablespoon of butter until translucent, set aside. Make 2 pans of cornbread according to the instructions, once cooled crumble into a large bowl. Add cubed bread, onion, celery, eggs, sage, poultry seasoning, salt. pepper and shredded chicken reserving some pieces for the top. Stir in chicken broth a cup or two at a time until you reach your desired consistency. I like my dressin' sticky so I use all 6 cups, but feel free to play around with it and use what you like. I left the eggs out of mine because I don't really use eggs unless absolutely necessary ha ha. They're gross. You can also add more or less sage/poultry seasoning, taste as you go.

Melt 1/4 cup of butter and grease the bottom and sides of a 9x13 baking dish, if you have butter left over stir it in to the dressin'. Pour the mixture in the pan and top with remaining pieces of chicken. Bake covered for 45 minutes. Remove the cover and bake for an additional 30 minutes or until the top is browned.

Voila! Melba's dressing can be yours. It's pretty simple but extremely delicious. My family loved it this year and it looks like I get to make it every year from now on. I should have taken a picture of the finished product but I didn't, so here are some pictures of my lovely granny instead.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Easy Corn and Potato Chowder

A few weeks ago I came upon this recipe for corn and potato chowder made in a crock pot. I made it and it was amazing. I'm always up for easy crock pot recipes. I love coming home to the smells of something simmering and delicious all ready to be ladled out into a big bowl. Yesterday I had completely forgotten that I planned on making this recipe for supper. So I got home after a flat tire fiasco, to find my crock pot empty.  I figured I could still make the chowder but instead, I would just make it on the stove. Easy peasy right? Right. I hate to brag on myself but what I made was much more flavorful than what spent all day the crock pot last week. For reals.

Also, I learned a new trick to cooking bacon. I've always made bacon on the stove and as is in my nature, I cook it up way too hot and end up burning myself on bacon grease. ha ha. shut up. Thanks to the wonderful place of Pinterest, I learned you can just bake bacon in the oven, it's the same thing! I laid my bacon out on a cookie sheet lined with foil, put it in the oven and turn the oven on to 400 degrees for about 22 minutes. You don't have to preheat the oven. Boom. Easy. I baked up my bacon and then set it aside for later. I don't know if anyone else does this, but I pepper my bacon, I always have. I love bacon. While adding the broth to this recipe, I added just a bit of the bacon grease. I couldn't help myself.

Let's get down to bidness. This recipe is enough for about 4 servings or so.

1 tablespoon butter
1 onion diced
2 cloves of garlic minced
3 large red potatoes cubed (any kind of potato would work probably this is just what I had on hand)
3 cups of frozen corn
3 cups chicken broth
1/4 cup of heavy whipping cream
6-8 slices of cooked crispy bacon crumbled
salt and pepper to taste

Melt butter over medium high heat in a stew pot. Add minced garlic. Once garlic begins to sweat add onions and sautee until translucent. Add chicken broth, potatoes and corn and bring to a slow boil. Once potatoes are fork tender, approximately 15 minutes, add bacon (reserve 2 slices for topping) and cream. Remove pot from heat. With an immersion blender, blend about half of the mixture until you reach a desired texture. Salt and pepper to taste.

Then basically what you're gonna wanna do it spoon it up and top each bowl with the remaining bacon and eat the hell out of it. You can thank me later. I accept cash and Sephora gift cards. Thanks.

This picture really doesn't do this dish justice. I promise to take better pictures soon.

Monday, November 7, 2011


Dudes. It's cold, and I want to buy everything. I've gotten a head start this year with this cable knit skirt thingy from ASOS. I kind of love it, kind of hate it but I'm gonna wear the shit out of it as soon as I get some appropriate shoes. Fuck the booties I have now, those mothers hurt my feet.

My favorite part of being an adult is having to buy a baller dress for the Christmas parties I have to attend. The Christmas party for my job usually only consists of dinner at a fancy type place where the only coworker I really get along with and I drink all of the wine and laugh louder than anyone else on the planet. I'm quite looking forward to it. My husband's company is a crap shoot every year, sometimes it's dinner, sometimes it's dinner and dancing, but there's always drinks and that's what the holidays are really all about right? right bro. So this year I have a few dresses picked out but I need direction on my stupid hair and shoes, as always, shoes lose me. I hope someday I can be a real girl. 

First there's ASOS, who never ever fails to disappoint me. I love this brand. 

Next up The Limited has a new line for big bitches called "eloquii", and I first saw this dress on the beautiful Gabi of and I kind of want it. Yellow looks weird on me though.

I'm pretty much leaning toward the black tutu from ASOS. 

So basically, that's what I'm twerkin' with this holiday season. However, I may not be able to get any of these dresses if I don't slow my roll on eating everything in sight. I got all emo on the planet last week and basically gave up on everything. Things really came to light for me yesterday when I spent almost $30 at Sonic for lunch for myself and Matt. It was pretty bad. I won't get into details but I ate a lot.  ha ha. 

Hope y'all like the new layout :) Holler.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Roasted Vegetable Beef Stew or That Stuff with the Yummy Beef Water

Hello. I have a recipe for you. This might be one of my favorite dishes ever. I use chunky veggies and big pieces of beef, all cooked together with beef broth and red wine. Yeah that's right, go 'head and have a sip. My favorite vegetables are roasted ones. They get all caramelized and delicious, I always pick a few out before I add them to the stew. What? It's my shit, I'm allowed to do that.

Matt calls this stew 'That stuff with the beef water", because the broth is heavenly. I am really bad at measuring when I make my own recipes but I'll try my best with this one.


4 Cups chunky vegetables. (I use red potatoes, little carrots, and white onion chopped. Feel free to use whatever you like, mushrooms would be tasty. Mmmmm mushrooms)
sea salt
3 Tbsp. olive oil (approximately)
3 Garlic cloves crushed
2 lbs. sirloin steak (or any other kind of steak you want)
2 Tbsp. Thyme
1 Garlic clove minced
32 oz. Beef broth
1 Cup Red wine
3 Bay leaves

Preheat oven to 425.

In a large bowl, stir vegetables with olive oil, sea salt, pepper, 2 of the crushed garlic cloves and 1Tablespoon of thyme. Once the vegetables are coated, spread them out on a non stick cookie sheet. My cookie sheets suck so I use parchment paper. see?

Roast vegetables for about 30 minutes or until tender.

While your veggies are getting delicious, season your steak with salt and pepper and cut it up into chunks. Drizzle olive oil in a stew pot and add the remaining garlic and thyme on medium heat. Don't brown the garlic, we just want it to sweat a bit and flavor the olive oil for the meat. Add meat just long enough to brown the outside a bit. Once meat has browned, take it out of the pan and set it aside in a little bowl, you'll deal with it again later. In your stew pot, add your red wine and cook it down a bit. Let it simmer for about 5 minutes, then add the beef broth and bay leaves and let it simmer on low until your vegetables are ready.  Once your vegetables are done, add them to your pot along with your meat. Simmer on medium for about 15 minutes. Take your bay leaves out, I don't know why you're not supposed to leave them in with stuff but you're not. I think they make your head explode or something if you leave them in. So. Take them out, save yourself a mess.

Then what you're gonna wanna do is spoon it up into some bowls and eat it. The broth is amazing, bay leaves are the jam, the wine doesn't hurt either. This would probably be holy with some cornbread or biscuits but I'm trying not to eat bread so I can't help you with that part.  Hope you like!


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Apple Crisp thuggin'

Today's high was 74 so that means I can finally make something that's worthy of chilly weather. Yes, 74 means it's chilly in Texas, get out of here. I wanted to make an apple pie initially but I'm such a bethos when it comes to making pie crust I opted for a crisp or a crumble. I spent all day looking at recipes and finally just winged one that I felt would work for me. I made notes on post its. That's what I do.

Alright here's the business.

For the filling:
4 granny smith apples peeled and sliced
1/4 cup brown sugar (I used the splenda blend)
2 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon
1 box raisins (optional. I didn't use them)

For the topping:
3/4 cup quick oats
1/3 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup brown sugar (or splenda blend)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup (half a stick of butter) melted

Cooking Directions:
    Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine apples, raisins, cinnamon, brown sugar and lemon juice in a large bowl. Sprinkle in cornstarch. Mix fruit until well coated, pour into a baking dish.

    In a clean separate bowl mix ingredients for topping. Spread over fruit. Bake about 30 minutes or until topping has browned.

    Then basically eat that shit up with some ice cream or another frozen dairy treat. Whateva you like.


    Tuesday, September 27, 2011

    Cosmo Con.

    So basically what happened was this, I went to NYC to hang out with my friends. As a bonus, I got to meet Taylor, Kenny, Stephanie, Lea and my lovely peanut butter - Patrick. Who are these people? They are the people I hang out with when I'm working. Taylor, Kenny and Steph are part of Wake Up with Taylor. Patrick and Lea host Cocktails with Patrick, both shows are on Cosmo Radio Sirius/XM 109. My online buddies and I decided to meet in NYC, it all came together very nicely. Here's the tale of my journey.

    Wednesday Mary and I drove from San Angelo to San Antonio, we had dinner at Landry's on the Riverwalk, we got a little drunk. We waited 4 1/2 hours or so for our hotel room to get ready and we chatted all about our trip. I made a friend named Edward who was from Alberta Canada. Once we got to our room, I fired up my Music Dock App and started listening to Cocktails with Patrick as urged by my buddy Tyler (@Flashmagoo) that this show couldn't be missed. I stayed up until nearly 2 a.m.

    I'm admittedly a worry wart, so my first worry for this trip was that my fat butt would not fit in the seat on the airplane. After only about 3 hours of sleep I was anxious. I all but had a panic attack as it came time to board, but I fit like a glove and even had a little room left in my seat belt. THANK YA JESUS. As that worry faded away, the real excitement for the trip quickly overcame me and a new worry wormed it's way into my tiny brain. Was I going to meet Patrick? I knew for sure, that I would get to meet, hug, and cry all over Kenny, Taylor and Steph from Wake Up With Taylor, but would Patrick show? Would he be comfortable? Would I be comfortable? Would I have to regulate on girls asking to take pictures with him? Would he like me in person? Would he even recognize me? All of the worries about Patrick. I can always find something to worry about if you just give me the opportunity.  I spent the majority of the time in the air staring out the window and listening Wake Up with Taylor thanks to the available WIFI. Every time Cosmo Con was mentioned, the knot in my stomach tightened.

    When we landed, I sent a direct message to my friend Kim (@KimmyGibb) on Twitter. Kim was waiting for me at the baggage claim. As I made my way through the airport I caught a glimpse of another pink tshirt and I squealed.Kim and I hugged and laughed and it was the best. Mary and I got our bags and chatted with Kim on the taxi drive all the way to the hotel where Faith (@FCJewelryDesign ), Molly (@Mawry) Lauren (@dumblonde9183), Jenn (@Jenoogle) and and Rachel (@PromoRach) were waiting for us to grab lunch. I stepped into the hotel and we all squealed again, all of my friends were there. The instantaneous connection to everyone was so overwhelming, it was like seeing friends from high school or something all over again, except that I'd never met these people before. After dropping off our luggage we hit the streets for grub and my head felt as if on a swivel. I tried to take in every sight I could as we walked quickly through the financial district, past the World Trade Center Memorial and into a small pub.

    We had lunch, we talked we laughed. As lunch ended and we made our way back to the hotel I began sending text messages and tweets to the girls I was still waiting to meet. Back at the hotel I got a message from bestie Ashlee (@AshleeAusome), saying that she was in the parking garage. Jenn and I made our way down to meet her. We hugged as if we were long lost siblings, this might have been one of my favorite memories from the whole trip. With tears in my eyes (shocker) we helped Ashlee check in and got upstairs to get ready for the welcome reception.

    I have to pause here and give credit to Katherine (@KMSR18). I got a lot of thank you's and congratulations over the weekend but I can't stress enough that I literally did nothing. Katherine deserves credit for putting the welcome reception together. She did SO MUCH for us over the weekend and I can't take credit for any of it. The only thing I did was pick the date, I'm also fairly sure that I picked the name "Cosmo Con" but that's debatable. Also Tara Aka Mother Effer (@TaraTheFoodie) deserves mucho credit for picking some stellar places to eat and for having her hands in the organization as well. You ladies are the best. Thank you thank you thank you! Now everyone go to twitter and thank them.

    I wore a purple off the shoulder shirt that was too big but I didn't care, I was saving all of the my better outfits for other events. Once we were all ready we stepped outside to walk the few blocks to the welcome reception at View of the World Terrace Club. As soon as I stepped outside my big beautiful Texas hair fell down and became flat. I had to pause for moment later that night and try to salvage my 'do with a side braid. It didn't really work. We were greeted at the entrance to our party with a raffle supporting Kenny's movie Larry and Carl, the winner of the raffle would get a pair of Christian Louboutins. I had no interest in the shoes but I definitely wanted to support Kenny, so I entered. I didn't win. Shocker. We were then greeted by a table of shot glasses filled with Cosmos! Yes I'll have one of those, thank you. Immediately after taking a shot, we began with drinks. Kim and I joined forces and stayed with the Cosmopolitan theme and we drank them freely as this was an open bar. I made my way around the crowd, shook hands and hugged everyone. At some point while taking in the amazing view from the terrace someone said to me, "Tara's here!" Tara is very special to me as she was my first real fake life friend through Cosmo Radio. I've known her the longest and was very anxious to meet her. I jumped up from my seat and made my way to the entrance and there she was! She caught sight of me and she got a little teary as did I. I hugged her and her wonderful boyfriend Mark and we made our way to the bar.

    At some point everyone was feeling a bit chilly so we made our way inside. I have to say, the weather for me was amazing and I wasn't cold at all. Coming from Texas where it had been over 100 degrees for most of the summer, the cool weather was a treat for me and I didn't want to give it up, but it began to sprinkle and my make up wasn't primed for that. While inside, a few of us commandeered a corner of the place to sit and talk, I sat on the floor. A bigger group formed and we took pictures and laughed. Katherine came over and tried really hard to get our attention but at this point we were all so comfortable with each other, we were all talking and laughing and drinking. ha ha. Poor Katherine, I'm sure trying to get us all together was like trying to herd cats. Anyway, she finally got our attention and we were going over what the plan was for the next day, and as memory serves she said "And who are we going to see tomorrow?" and as we all began to say "Taylor and Kenny!" Taylor and Kenny in the flesh walked in and the crowd went wild. My bracelet got ripped off of my wrist, I think I threw my purse up in the air in a fit of joy, and I wrapped my arms around Kenny's neck like he was my long lost father. And the tears, OH THE TEARS. Vodka tears all over Mister Mans. I couldn't help it. I'd had approximately 7 Cosmos at this point with an 8th sitting on the table. I figured I needed them to relax and we were only going to be going back to the hotel so why the hell not? It was a beautiful, wonderful surprise. With tears in my dumb eyes, I scanned the group for someone having a similar reaction, my eyes caught Kim's and I took her by the arm to the bathroom. We held each other and cried! ha ha. It was such a special moment thinking back on it now. We screamed and laughed, "Is this real life? Is this happening right now?" I love Kim so much. We finally got ourselves together and went back out to join the crowd. I could hardly look at Taylor, she's so beautiful, so funny, so smart and so nice! I was so nervous. When I'm nervous I get verbal diarrhea. By the time the trip was over everyone knew my life story, but that's ok. Kenny and Tay stayed and talked with us for a while, we left eventually and made our way back to the hotel for our pajama/pizza party.

    Back at the hotel we all changed into our pj's and made our way to Melissa and Sarah's suite upstairs. So fancy! We ate pizza and talked and laughed. As I was getting ready to make my way to bed, someone said that Lori (@mistresslo) and Melissa (@FrigZ) were on their way. They weren't due to arrive until Friday but were coming in early, so of course I had to stay! When they arrived, we hugged and laughed. See a recurring theme here? We stayed up and talked and talked until we finally drug ourselves up to our own rooms. Ashlee, Jenn and I roomed together, we stayed up ad talked until I don't know when, but I was wide awake at 5:00 am, ready for Fat Kid Friday in the fishbowl at the Sirius/XM studios.

    We met in the lobby with Tara and some of the other girls and hopped the subway to Avenue of the Americas. As we made our way through security I began to feel anxious, and I felt my hair falling. Boo to the humidity killing my hair. All of the pictures taken of me on this day are awful - that's just a disclaimer. We made our way up the elevator and up to the fishbowl, and it was already packed. Some of the girls left earlier and got most of the seats. However, Kim and LaToya were motioning to me, they had saved me a seat. I could feel my eyes swelling up. How nice is that? "We had to save a seat for Hug Kiss". Wah! I could have cried right there but I kept it together surprisingly. We had the privilege of being fed by Dinosaur Barbeque for Fat Kid Friday. This BBQ was AH-MAZING. Coming from Texas and being a woman of girth, I feel like I know my BBQ, and this stuff was no joke. At the end of the broadcast we all mingled and I managed to snag a hug from Lea, the producer for Cocktails with Patrick. She assured us that Patrick would be showing up to the happy hour event later on that night. A group of us left the studio and ventured out towards Time Square. I found a Sephora, I spent some money. It was so necessary. I got some great hairspray by Bumble and Bumble and a new face supplied by Make Up Forever's body and face foundation. I also got some new awesome red lip color that everyone seemed to really like. After trekking our way through Times Square and due to lack of sleep, I was ready to go back to the hotel and rest for a bit before having to get ready for our event at Beauty Bar.

    After a short rest, we all began to get ready and I obsessed over every detail from my hair to my lipstick. I had felt so inferior and gross the two days prior that I really wanted to get it right this time. Our large group arrived at beauty bar and sat down inside. Kenny had mentioned on air that there was some trepidation with this establishment, and while I don't really know the details, it was clear when we got there that they weren't exactly expecting us. It's my understanding that we were to have the back room, well there was a big sign that said BACK ROOM CLOSED. It wasn't long before a waitress very rudely came over to us and said "You need to order a drink or you need to leave". Those may not have been her exact words, but that was the gist and she was quite rude. I stood up and said, "I'd rather just wait outside for Kenny", we all ended up outside. Why give money to this establishment if we weren't going to have our event there? Tara arrived and got Kenny on the phone and decided to find another place to have our happy hour. Katherine got on her phone and we ended up a few blocks away at the W hotel.

    I can't remember exactly who showed up first or what happened exactly but I do recall having 3 watermelon crushes (watermelon with vodka). I was standing by the door because I was wearing a long sleeved tshirt and it was quite warm with so many people in there and I wanted to feel the breeze as the door opened and closed. I turned to make my way outside when I saw Patrick standing outside talking to someone, Lea was with him. Instead of going outside I made my way deeper into the crowd. I didn't want to be the first person he saw and I didn't want to seem anxious so I took my drink and finished it before I introduced myself. I finally made my way to Patrick and held my hand out for a shake and said "Hi! I'm Jessica!" He looked a little puzzled as he shook my hand, and I said, "Jessica from Texas, Hug Kiss." Patrick exclaimed, "Hug Kiss!" and gave me a hug. It was the best. I hugged Lea immediately after and then went upstairs to dry my eyes. I cried again later that night when Patrick and I had a bit of a moment. I couldn't help myself. I'm an emotional mess and I admit that openly. At one point in the night Patrick asked to take a picture with me and has been discussed on his show, Patrick isn't a fan of taking pictures really. So of course I said "Are you sure? You really don't have to." But LaToya (@ltykr) ended up taking a beautiful picture of us. I was so happy! I have so much admiration and respect for Patrick, and the picture means a lot to me. It's a great reminder of that night and the whole trip. I told Kenny about the farm that Erin (@dontburntheday) and DFish (@DanielleFishel) and I wanted to start. He said, "Let's do it!" The most meaningful conversation for me was had with Stephanie, the producer of Wake Up. I can't express how much I love that girl. I bugged Kenny repeatedly for pictures and he graciously said, "I'll do whatever you want". What an amazing guy. I love me some Kenny! I did speak with Taylor briefly but so many girls were buzzing around her I didn't want to be a bother, I wish I would have talked with her more.

    Later that night I got into a fight with a taxi driver and my feet were killing me but it was easily the best night ever. The weekend wore on with quality time with many of the girls at Shake Shack and The Natural History Museum Saturday afternoon and dinner at Mesa Grill Saturday night, followed by Molly and Ashlee and I dancing with Lea at a club in alphabet city.There are so many lovely girls who I am so proud to call my friends all of these girls, 50 new friends who all treated me personally like I was kind of a big deal. It was so unexpected and so crazy I couldn't believe it, it was so great! Sunday was the saddest day because everyone was gearing up to leave. We said our goodbye's and Mary and I made our way home on Monday. There are still girls I've yet to meet who didn't make it on our trip, but I still love them just as much as everyone else and look forward to the day I get to hug all of you. This means you, Brooke, Erin, DFish and the rest of ya. All in all it was a great trip! I can not wait for next year!

    Saturday, July 30, 2011

    Papoo Says

    I don't know where the word Papoo comes from, but for me it's the name I called my grandfather for as long as I can remember.

    My Papoo was my soul mate. No one on this earth has ever known me better than he did. He and I were a team of sorts. This is the story of his passing.

    One day after school during the beginning of my senior year, my Grandpa called me to his room. He was sitting up in bed on top of the covers. He and grandma had been at a doctor's office all day and I'd been bugging them to give the scoop on what was said. Granny stood in the door way as I sat down on the foot of the bed and my Papoo told me he had cancer. I had no reaction in the beginning  because he had already survived multiple heart attacks and a stroke, cancer couldn't be that bad could it? My eyes shifted to the purple bruising on his arm from multiple attempts at a blood draw, and I became angry. I stood up and leaned over him and threw my arms around his neck and kissed his check. We were going to fight this all the way, I wanted to be at every appointment and be involved with every decision. I went back to my room and cried myself to sleep.

    He was scheduled to go in for surgery two days later to remove the cancer. I ended up skipping school and showing up at the hospital.  When surgery was over the doctor met us outside and said that they removed the bulk of the sickness, but that it had already spread to his lymph nodes. The doctor asked me to step outside while he explained to my Granny what that meant, but I wouldn't go. All I can remember him saying before I fell back in my seat was that it was too late. I never made a big deal out of it with anyone because this was going to be fixed. Doctors are supposed to fix shit, that's their job. My grandmother stood tall and strong as was in her nature to do but her eyes were filled with worry, and again, I became angry.

    I said there had to be something they could do, chemo, radiation ... something. I had no idea what any of it meant at that time, but that they had to do something. You can't just come to me and say that my grandpa was just going to die. He did start a treatment that lasted just under a year and left him too weak to come to my high school graduation. He continued with treatment until hospice was finally called in in January of 2002. I remained in denial and swore that he would get better somehow. I spent many nights on my knees praying, but there was nothing anyone could do. My beloved Papoo died on Mother's Day in 2002. I've never cried so hard or for so long in my whole life.

    As my aunt and my grandma and I were at a flower shop picking out flowers for his casket, I lost it. I left the shop and ended up standing by myself in the parking lot screaming at the top of my lungs. What were we doing? Picking out flowers for Papoo's casket? The thought was ridiculous to me. I remained in denial until the funeral. I was the last one to pass his casket on the way out of the church, and that's when I realized that he was really gone.

    On this day, his birthday, I reflect back on that time. I think of our yearly traditions on his birthday. Grandma and I would take him out to eat, we bought him new shirts that he would never wear because he was afraid to get them dirty. We baked a chocolate cake along with his favorite supper, chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with gravy and cornbread.

    He and I would sit in his office for hours at a time writing songs, and singing. He played the guitar and we'd sing together. I do not sing anymore. I still feel, that the best parts of me went with him when he died. It's been 9 years and it feels as though not a day has passed.  It saddens me that he never met Matthew.

    I hope, that the heaven he believed in exists and that he's with my grandma. I hope they're keeping an eye on me and know that I love them both very much. He was a great man who helped anyone who needed it. He always loved and believed in me no matter what. He always forgave me when I acted like a brat. He taught me how to drive a tractor, how to bait a hook and how to shoot a gun. He was always on my side whenever my mom and I were fighting. He always stood up for me and helped me anytime I needed him. He was more than a grandfather to me, he was a father and he was the best.

    I wrote this the night he told me he had cancer in a journal I kept.

    "Come sit down my Jessie Dear and listen to me close
    One of these nights soon, it will be my time to go
    Now Jessie, don't you go to cryin'
    It's something we all must do
    It will be your time one night
    And I will be waiting for you
    We will see each other again
    And relive our most glorious days
    Until that day comes for us
    Please hear me when I say
    I love you my Jessie Dear
    And now baby don't you cry
    You be strong for me now
    Your Papoo will be alright"

    Saturday, May 14, 2011

    Summa, Summa, Summer Time

    Well hello.

    I don't know where you are but it's Summertime where I am. There was no spring in Texas this year.

    So many things are going on! I must touch on the most important thing on anyone's planet right now. COSMO CON! For those of you who don't know (where the hell have you been?) Cosmo Con is the meeting of Cosmo Radio listeners in NYC. I'm going. I may be broke as hell up until then, but I'm going damn it. So many of us have been talking about having a listener meet up for so long, I finally just picked a date out of the air and said, let's do it already. So we're doing it! For information on Cosmo Con you can visit the group page or the event page on Facebook. Holler at me if you can't find it and I'll send you the link. You can also check out the blog that the fabulous Tracey put together here: Cosmo Con. Through the Cocks with P clique and Wake Up with Taylor's Little Effers, I have met so many amazing people and I can't wait to meet them in person. Tackling hugs for all of you.

    Through the Cosmo Con madness I met another Little Effer named Mary who happens to live in my town! I can't believe it. I'm so happy to have someone local to talk to about my favorite thing in life right now. We met up for lunch today and had a blast, we will be traveling to Cosmo Con together from San Antonio. I can't wait.

    On to the latest purchases. Today I wore my new purple dress from Old Navy. I have been on the fence about this dress but I decided to bite the bullet and give it a shot.

    My dress was put together with the following:
    I bought these baller flip flips at Target last summer. 
    Watch by Fossil 2 years old, engagement ring and wedding band. 
    OPI nail polish, Rumples Wiggin' from the Shrek collection. Anxiety relief ring (it spins) and random bracelets I got at Wal-Mart or some place like that. :)

    I also bought a few Maxi Dresses per my previous entry. Here is a lame mirror shot of my favorite one. 

    I have a few amazing products to review. First up are Genesis Today products. What Matthew and I have tried from Genesis Today are the juices, Superfuit Teas and the SuperFruit Lemonade. I can't say enough about these products! My nails are growing at a rate I've never seen before, my hair is much fuller and more manageable and I have to give the credit to these products. Visit their website to find out more about the products, they're available at Wal-Mart and Sam's. Genesis Today

    Now my new favorite hair care products! Two weeks ago I bought some samples of Bumble and Bumble's Alojoba shampoo and conditioner. I am so pleased with the product that I will be purchasing the huge bottles from Sephora. Every time I washed my hair, it felt like I just left a salon, it was so soft, shiny and manageable I couldn't believe it. The smell is light but stays all day. The smell may not be for everyone but I happen to really like it! I highly suggest anyone to buy a sample size of this product. Yesterday I bought the Super Rich Conditioner and so far so good! My hair feels so soft and light. Although this conditioner is "super rich" it doesn't weight my hair down.  The next B&B product I will try will be the Creme De Coco. 

    I also must note that I have just recently started using Jergens Natural Glow again and it is still amazing. I like that it doesn't have that smell like some of the other self tanners have. 

    Today I wore this eyeshadow by Bare Minerals. It's so pretty! I love it. 

    My little brother graduates in a few weeks and I'm still on the hunt for some shoes to wear with the dress. Here is the tailored final product. Sorry for the lame mirror shot, I just recently learned how to use a tripod so maybe my next outfit pictures will be better! 

    I suppose that's about it for now. I feel like I haven't blogged in forever so I this seems like a long one! Stay posted to see what shoes I pick for my ASOS dress. :)

    Friday, April 29, 2011

    Adventures in Fashion or I hate my tailor lady.

    Yesterday the dress I ordered from Asos.Com finally arrived! I have been dying to try the clothes from them and I was not disappointed. The dress I ordered is true to size and seems to be really well made. It's no secret that I'm pretty frugal when it comes to buying things for myself, and this was no exception. I got this dress on sale for $35.86, pretty good no?

    The only pain in the ass about this dress was that the top was way too big for me. Even though I am a Chunky Monkey, I have the chest of a skinny gal. So I made the trek to my tailor to have the dress fixed. Now pay attention, this story is good.

    Before I left the house, I made sure to wear the bra and undergarments (fat sucker inner, spanx) that I plan to wear with this dress to be sure that it would be altered correctly. I threw on a Tshirt and my usual yoga pants and sneakers and ran out of the house with my hair in a bun. My tailor closes at 6:00 and is only open on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and yesterday was Thursday so I wanted to get it to her before she closed. I walked in the door at 5:37. There were 3 high school aged girls in there and she was fitting the dress of a beautiful blonde with a gorgeous purple satin gown. My tailor, Suzie, is an older Asian woman with huge glasses (just to give you a visual.)

    "Oh! Miss Clock, what you have for me today?"
    "Just a dress that needs to be taken in at the top, I can wait until you're done with these ladies."

    She nodded and went back to work on the hem of the purple gown and I stood near her desk as the other girls occupied the chairs.

    "Miss Clock, deeze gulls so gorgeous, aren't they?" 
    I had pulled out my phone to check my Twitter and wasn't actually paying attention but I did look up and say, "Oh yes! Gorgeous."'
    "Miss Clock, these gulls so gorgeous, no belly, not fat".
     "................................... um yeah. Not fat at all."
    One of the girls in her prom dress said, "Oh my God! If I was fat. I. Would. Die!!"
    Que stink eye from me.

    She finished up with the girls and it was my turn to go into the changing room to put my dress on so she could see where it needed to be taken in. I stepped out and stood in front of the mirror where she was waiting.

    "Miss Clock so unfortunate".
    I said, "Excuse me ma'am?"
    "This dress pretty but unfortunate. I have to take out so much fabric at the top. You small here but big on bottom".
    "Yep, I sure am."

    I took what she said in stride. I know she probably wasn't intending to be rude or inappropriate or whatever so I brushed it off. If this had happened 5 or 6 years ago, I would have had another reaction completely. This is just another example of shit us fatties have to endure. I have a belly, I have huge hips and a great big fat ass, and guess what? I still have to clothe myself. I refuse to go to my brother's graduation in jeans or khakis with a button down shirt or some other boring thing that I'm expected to wear because I'm massive. It's just not going to happen. If anyone in this world has a problem with they way I look, that's their problem. Not mine. I'm not in love with the way I look and of course I'm trying to lose weight but I refuse to hide away just because I'm not thin. Before I might have told her to forget it and returned the dress, I probably would have gone home and cried.

    Last night I did not shed a tear. I can't wait to find some fierce fucking shoes to go with my fabulous dress.

    Monday, April 18, 2011

    Texas is Burning

    I used to write quite frequently but I stopped many years ago. This morning I had brief inspiration, good thing I had my phone with me so I could jot this down.

    Texas is Burning

    The sky is red and the wind is high
    And Texas is burning
    The unchanging waters are churning this time
    And Texas is burning
    The fish are sparse and the lakes are dry
    And Texas is burning
    The bluebonnets are gone and the earth is scorched
    Texas is burning
    My eyes are unfocused, my lungs ache for air
    My Texas is burning
    Oh please Mama take me home
    Where Texas is burning
    The flames in my heart the warmth of soul
    Know that Texas is burning
    Save our memories, forsake our homes
    Our Texas is burning

    Friday, April 15, 2011

    Betty's Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas

    This recipe comes from my mama! Shout out Betty!

    1/4 cup vegetable oil (approx)
    1 lb uncooked chicken breast (cut into strips)
    1 package 8oz cream cheese (cubed)
    1 can 4.5 oz chopped green chiles
    1 package 10.5 oz.  of corn tortillas (taco size)
    2 cans 10 oz. Green chile enchilada sauce (we use Old El Paso brand)
    Shredded Cheddar Cheese

    Heat oven to 400 degrees.

    In a small skillet, on medium high heat one at a time soften corn tortillas in vegetable oil,  about 1 minute, remove from skillet onto a plate lined with paper towels to remove excess oil. Set aside.*

    In a non stick skillet cook chicken until no longer pink. Remove from pan and shred chicken with a fork. Place chicken back in the skillet with cream cheese and chiles, add salt and pepper to taste. Stir until well blended and cheese is melted.

    Add chicken filling to tortillas, roll and place seam down in a 13 x 9 baking dish. Pour enchilada sauce over the top and add cheese. Bake 20-25 minutes.

    *To make it easier and skip a step you can use flour tortillas instead of corn for New Mexico style enchiladas. :) Enjoy!

    Tuesday, April 12, 2011

    Real Life, Fake Life

    I gotta step my blog game all the way up.

    So the last week or so has been, interesting to say the least. As most of you know, I am an avid listener of Cosmo Radio on Sirius 111 XM 162. To make a long story short, I have been dubbed President of the Cocktails with Patrick clique. Cocktails with Patrick gets me through the afternoons at work, and keeps me laughing all day. I work on spreadsheets and shuffle papers, and this show makes the time go by so fast, before I know it the show is over and it's time to go home. You can follow Cocktails with Patrick on Twitter @CockswithP. The Vice President of our clique is my good friend Tara, @TaraTheFoodie on Twitter. She has an amazing blog here: Tara's Bloggity Blog. She has been an amazing Vice President, I bother her all day with all sorts of inane questions.

    I've been tasked with picking members for this clique which is a difficult task because I never want to cut anyone. ha ha. Oh well, with great power comes great responsibility right?

    For those of you who do not listen to Cosmo Radio or do not have Sirius/XM, sign up for a free trial and just give it a shot for a week. The personalities on these shows are amazing and you will not be disappointed.

    Now, with all that aside, a few other things have been going on. I finally pulled out last years summer clothes and found a few pieces that I'm going to rock (again) this summer. My first piece, white effing jeans. I know what you're thinking, "Girl you know your ass is too big to be wearin' white jeans". To which I say, "Kill yourself". - In the words of my beloved TyTy. You can find TyTy's blog here: TyTy's blog. You can also follow Tyler on Twitter @FlashMagoo. He is a supreme follow.

    Please see my baller white jeans below followed by my Snooki inspired hair do. Pardon the look of narf on this first picture.

    I am still on the lookout for something baller to wear to my little brothers graduation. I have discovered Asos , who has some beautiful clothes for gals of all shapes and sizes. 

    And I know this is a shocker as I've been talking about it for weeks now but, MAXI DRESSES! lol. Old Navy is really after my heart with the recent selection. I will own these:

    Tonight I made some EXCELLENT Meatloaf Muffins. I was surprised how many people haven't really heard of them. The ones I make are pretty simple, the recipe is as follows:

    1 lb meat (I use 90/10)
    1/2 onion diced
    1/2 cup ketchup
    1/2 cup bbq 
    2 -3 cups regular oats (if you want to stretch your meat out to make more muffins, use more)  :)
    1 egg
    salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste

    Spray a regular muffin tin with PAM or with any other non stick spray. mix all ingredients together and mold into muffin pans.  Bake at 425 for 20 -25 minutes. 

    Optional: I top my meatloaf with bbq sauce or ketchup, whichever you like best! Also, I buy the snack size cheeses that come in tiny cubes and stick them in the middle. I didn't have any this week so we went without cheese. 

    I usually serve this with Mac and Cheese and Cornbread :) I didn't have either of these things this week so I made fried potatoes. I have been slacking at the grocery store lately. Here's the finished product! 

    Wednesday, March 30, 2011

    Things I Can't Live Without or Saturday Adventures

    So I had a Bath and Bodyworks gift card burning a hole in my pocket. I happened to get an email that some new fragrances were out and I only had 7 bottles of hand soap left. (OCD) So, after disrespecting Sushi at Shogun on Saturday....

    Oh My God Roll and Firecracker Roll lovely husband took me to the mall.

    I indulged in the Fresh Market line in Strawberry, Watermelon, Blueberry and Country Apple. These all smell delicious. My only complaint is that BBW didn't have the moisturizing cleansing soap with this line, so that was a bummer. 

    I LOVE the PINK line by Victoria's Secret, so I had to try these two Aloha PINK body lotions. They both smell very different but very light and clean and very fresh. My husband tells me how great I smell all the time now because of these. Highly recommended. 

    The night before all of this went down, some of my twitter buddies and I thought about doing a twit pic party. We had to go all around and take pics of a bunch of random things, I can't remember the list now but it was so much fun! I know we had to take a picture of our pet or our significant other and this is what I took at Shogun. I know Matt looks super into it and my face looks like a Picasso. Seriously, wonky ass eye and shit.

    I asked Matt to take me downtown because there are some cool shops and things that we've never been to, and while San Angelo isn't my favorite, there are some really cool places to go and things to see downtown. We went into a general store that will remain nameless because you're not supposed to take pictures in there, but whatever. I'm a thug and I don't give a damn. So here's one I managed to snap before my husband shut me down and made me aware of the "No Photos" sign posted. 

    We also had to get a picture with a stranger. My stranger Marilyn, was one of the friendliest people I've ever met. I love Texas, the people are amazing. She was a good sport. She owns one of the antique stores on a very popular strip downtown. Pardon my lady lumps bitches.

    So that was my Saturday in a nutshell! That night Matty made some killer iron skillet steak and I contributed oven fries with parmesan cheese, it was off the charts. Sunday is my chore day. It's all about laundry, dusting, cleaning and grocery store. I hate Sunday :) for supper I made a steak pepper hash with Anaheim peppers and red onions on top of loaded mashed potatoes. Yes. It was amazing. 

    Monday, March 28, 2011

    Patty Melt and Cork and Pig or Jesus himself made this sammich

    Last week for my good friend Angela's birthday, a co worker and I took her out to lunch at The Cork and Pig Tavern here in San Angelo. Angela and I both ordered the CPT patty melt. I fell in love. For our 2 year anniversary, I went and picked this up for my husband for lunch on Sunday. Still in love. I should have taken a picture of this delicious treat but, I ate it way too fast. Oops. CPT menu

    Wednesday, March 23, 2011

    Jergens Natural Glow Lotion

    2 posts ago, I mentioned that I didn't have any new products to write about. I lied. I forgot all about Jergens Natural Glow Lotion.

    I am as white as a sheet of paper. My mother is mexican but I inherited nothing physical from her. She is petite and brown and cute as a button. I am a snow beast. I bought this lotion in hopes it would work in time for my friend's wedding on Saturday. I didn't develop any color until Monday, to be fair, I bought it on Thursday and the instructions state that it would take several days to work. If I was really dedicated I would have taken before and after photos but I'm not that clever.

    All that being said, I really like this stuff! I actually look like I have a bit of a tan. It's really cool. I forgot to wash my hands after applying it Monday night and I was yellow between my fingers the next day which was unsightly and kinda gross, but that was my fault. I have a history of cancer in my family so I'm really concerned about laying out in the sun or going to a tanning bed. I thought about doing a mystic tan but figured I would try this out first just to see if it would work and it does! So if you're pasty like I am, give this stuff a try. It doesn't work right away but I like that, that way you can control how dark you want to be or if you don't like the way it looks you can just stop. :) Happy tanning!

    Struggles McGee

    The last few days have had me thinking about high school and junior high.

    I have never ever been a person who conformed to anything. I am many things, but a follower is not one of them. I'm not someone who needed or wanted desperately to fit in with the popular kids. I was a leader of my own band of rejects and we were amazing. The only time I wished that I was with the in crowd was in 7th grade, when a popular boy kissed me behind the school and begged me not to tell anyone. He called me later that night and said that we could be boyfriend and girlfriend in secret, but that wasn't good enough for me. He wanted to hide me from his friends and from the rest of the school, because he knew that my crimped hair, baggy overalls and over sized t shirts would get him ridiculed. I wanted desperately to be thinner, more stylish and more popular, but I would not compromise myself for him or for anyone.

    I have never lacked in attention from guys or been lonely from lack of friends, but people really judge you when you're bigger and some assume that you've never had a boyfriend, or that you lack social skills. When walking with cute boys in school, thinner girls would always talk shit. ALWAYS. It was so annoying. It is super hard to be a plus sized person in this world. I struggle with laziness and food control. I struggle with lots of things, but that doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or that I don't deserve to live in this world with the rest of you. I know lots of other plus sized people deal with this kind of thing, and it's really sad. I have never been a judgmental person. People can do whatever they want, like whatever they like. I'm not one to turn my nose up at anyone. I hate when people do that to me so I surely never want to do that. I hate that girls have this negative connotation that we all talk about each other behind each others backs and that we are so judgmental. I can't speak for everyone but I am not like that. If I have something to say about you, you can bet that I will say it to your face. I really value my friendships and am not one to be competitive with my friends, I always want the best for my friends.

    Lately, I have been trying to really find my style, which is really hard since I have to order the majority of my clothes online, another pitfall of the extra awesomeness that is me and my lady lumps. I've been trying to find myself in clothes, in weight loss and in food. Last night while rediscovering some amazing music (lost NSync tracks, judge me if you wish, I don't give an F) I got to thinking about the girl I used to be. Where has she gone? I am not dresses, high heels, or skinny girl clothes. I never ever have been any of that. I am trying to lose weight now to prevent health risks in the future, but in the midst of that I've been caught up in shit I never was and never will be - skinny.

    At my thinnest, I was a size 12 in the 9th grade. I was always active,  I played basketball, volleyball, ran track and played some softball from 4th grade all the way up through high school, but I have always been the biggest girl on the team. Now that school is out and my activity level has dropped to zero I have gained a ton of weight. I'm unhappy with the weight I am now and would give anything to be back to a size 12, but I am learning to live in the body I have now. I can't just hide myself away until I'm a size 12 again.

    I suppose this is just a note to remind myself that I am ok. I am still beautiful. I have an amazing husband, a great family and really good friends online and off.

    I am a good wife
    I am a ponytail
    I am 2 pairs of converse
    I am jeans (everyday)
    I am glasses
    I am funny as shit
    I am popular
    I am gregarious
    I am a social butterfly
    I am a good friend
    I am a good listener
    I am always willing to help
    I am so fucking nice